


Panic response

by Cats_Dont_Float



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caretaking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Karkat Needs a Hug, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 10:31:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cats_Dont_Float/pseuds/Cats_Dont_Float
Summary: In which Karkat experiences the troll version of a panic attack, and Dave does his best to look after him.





	Panic response

"Karkat?" Dave calls out in the house as he steps in through the front door, pushing it shut behind him with his foot, "Karkat?" There's no answer, but that's nothing unusual; Karkat's hearing's not great, and sometimes he just takes long naps during the day. So Dave just kicks off his shoes, slings his bag aside and leaves it on the floor to deal with later, before he checks the living room and kitchen. Karkat's nowhere to be seen there either, so he heads upstairs. As he gets to the first door upstairs, he looks into the bedroom, and spots Karkat curled up in a ball on the bed, facing the wall with his back to Dave.  
He smiles fondly, figuring Karkat's probably just fallen asleep again, and crawls onto the bed in the space behind him. Then he notices how fast Karkat's breathing, and realises something's wrong.  
"Karkat?" He says again, quickly scrabbling off of the bed and rushing around to the other side so he can crouch down and face Karkat. 

The troll's eyes are wide open, barely blinking, pupils blown out so barely any of the red iris is visible, mouth open slightly as he silently gasps for air and tries to scream, with no noise coming out of his throat. There are red tears streaming down his face, and even from a distance Dave can see that is entire body is shaking.  
"Fuck," Dave hisses, "What the fuck is this? Karkat, can you hear me?" He reaches out towards him, then thinks better of it and retracts his hand. This looks similar to the panic attacks Dave has, and he knows better than to just touch Karkat with no warning if he's going through something like that. "Karkat, seriously, can you talk to me? Or just move in some way to show me you can hear me?" He's practically begging at this point, only just starting to wonder if this is something more than just a panic attack and if he should be calling for help. Eventually, when there's still no response from Karkat and if anything the troll's breathing seems to be getting worse, Dave decides that calling someone who knows more about this stuff if probably his best choice, and pulls his phone from his pocket with shaking hands. He knows who he's calling before he's even got her number on screen.  
"Hello Dave," the voice on the other end is calm when she answers the call almost instantly, "How are you?"  
"Sorry Kan, no time for small talk," Dave babbles, words rolling into one massive mess as he tries to force himself not to panic, "I think Karkat might be dying or something." He walks out of the bedroom as he says it, not wanting Karkat to hear this conversation, and runs a hand roughly through his hair to tug at it anxiously.  
"What?" Kanaya snaps, and it unsettles Dave to hear her sound anything other than calm and well-spoken like she usually is. "Tell me what's wrong with him!"  
"I don't know. I just came home and he kinda looks like he's having a panic attack, but there's just nothing from him... he's not even blinking or making any noise. Even his breathing is silent. It's so fucking scary."  
"Okay, Dave, calm down," she says, and he hears her take a deep breath. She doesn't sound too worried though anymore, and that does calm him a little. "Sorry Dave, I'd assumed you would have seen this sort of thing happen to Karkat before, if not I'd have told you about it when we had that little lesson on troll biology."  
"Yeah, yeah," Dave mutters, not wanting to remember that lesson, "Just tell me what's wrong with him." Even as he's saying it, he's promising himself that he'll call her back later and apologise for being rude.  
"It's nothing too serious, and quite normal, especially among lowbloods," Kanaya says, "When a troll experiences a severe pain, whether that be physical or emotion, that they can't cope with properly, their brains and bodies shut down, so they don't have to experience it. It's mostly a thing that happens to lowbloods when they know they're in danger, so that they don't have to feel the pain of being culled."  
"So someone hurt Karkat?" Dave asks quietly.  
"Perhaps," Kanaya says, "But if you can't see any injuries on him, then it's most likely this is a response to an emotional pain rather than a physical one."  
"What do I do?" He asks desperately.  
"He can't really feel anything right now, and his vision probably isn't working so well," Kanaya muses, "But he'll most likely still be able to hear, so I suggest just sitting with him and quietly talking to him until this all ends and he's able to speak to you."  
"Okay, okay I can do that," Dave says, "Do you know how long this is going to last?"  
"It depends how long he's already been like that before you found him," she replies, "It's never more than a few hours."  
"Okay, thank you," Dave sighs, "I'll call you back later to tell you how he's doing."  
"Yes, please do," she says quietly, "I'm glad he's got you there for him, Dave." She calls a quiet goodbye, before hanging up the phone.

Dave rushes back into the bedroom, instantly drops his phone onto the floor, and climbs back onto the bed, sitting down by Karkat's head, and gently moving a hand to smooth down Karkat's messy hair. When there's no negative reaction from the troll, he continues to stroke the top of his head gently, occasionally brushing his fingers across Karkat's horns, even though he knows from Kanaya that Karkat probably can't feel anything right now.  
"Hey, Kat," he murmurs quietly, "I hope you can hear me right now, coz I'm about to be all sappy and romantic and I know you love that shit." He smiles faintly, before continuing, "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and I'm always gonna love you, 'cos you're like the best thing that's ever happened to me. And whatever happened to you, whatever upset you like this, we can work through it together. Because that's what we do, we work things out together, always have done. Wow this whole 'not knowing if you can actually hear me or not' shit really is helping me spill the truth, huh? Should probably actually tell you I love you more often. Anyways, I'm just gonna wait here til you wake up, and then we can talk about all this." He continues to ramble incessantly for almost half an hour, until he's cut off by the sound of Karkat drawing in a deep, shuddering breath. It's the worst sound Dave thinks he's ever heard, a sort of choking, mixed with sobbing, and then suddenly there's a troll throwing himself at him. He has to struggle to stay sitting upright as Karkat crashes his full weight into him, and then Karkat's sitting himself in Dave's lap so he's facing him, legs around Dave's waist, and for a second there's nothing but the sound of Karkat's uncontrollable sobbing.

"Hey," Dave murmurs quietly after a few seconds, "Hey, baby, it's okay." He leans his head down to nuzzle his face into Karkat's hair, and holds the troll close against his chest, listening to his breathing finally starting to go back to normal.  
"Thank you," Karkat manages to mutter eventually, his voice weak and cracked.  
"Hey, it's no problem," Dave says, "Always here for you, you know that." He tightens his arms further around Karkat, desperate to just hold him closer in anyway possible, and just somehow get rid of whatever pain he's feeling. "You wanna talk about it?" He asks softly, rubbing the palm of one hand in circles on Karkat's lower back.  
"It's nothing," Karkat mutters with a shake of his head, and Dave can feel the sleeve of his dirt getting damp as Karkat starts to cry onto his shoulder. His tears will probably stain the shirt. Dave doesn't care.  
"Okay, don't gotta talk about it right now," Dave says, "Everything's okay now. I'm here. I'm here." Karkat's already sobbing again, and Dave, feeling a little helpless, just presses a soft kiss to the curls on the top of his head, and rocks him from side to side very gently in what he hopes is a comforting way. Luckily, it seems to work, and a few minutes later Karkat sits back slightly so he can lift his head and look at Dave. He's finally starting to stop crying, and Dave reaches out one hand to brush away the last few tears from Karkat's face with his thumb.  
"I... I can't... I don't know..." Karkat trails off, and give Dave a tired, exasperated look, more tears welling up in his eyes as he tries to voice what he's feeling.  
"Hey, it's okay," Dave says, "Don't try and speak if it's too hard right now." He's aware that Karkat's clothes are almost completely soaked through with sweat, and so he quietly suggests, "You want a bath?" Knowing that that calms Karkat down a lot. Something about it reminds him of being young and floating in a pod of slime or some other weird alien thing that Dave doesn't quite understand properly.  
Karkat nods desperately, hands gripping at Dave's shirt. And so Dave gets to his feet, easily scooping Karkat up with his legs still around Dave's waist, and heads off towards the bathroom.

Once he's in the bathroom, he sits Karkat down on the floor at the side of the room, and sets about filling up the bathtub, and pouring in an unneccesary amount of bubblebath. They've got some sort of lavender oil in the cupboard, and Dave pours some of that into the water too before he shuts the water off. When he turns back around, Karkat's already piling his clothes up by the wall, and steps over towards the bath. Dave holds out his hands to steady Karkat as he steps into the water, noticing as he does so that the troll's still shaking slightly. A look of relief crosses his face as he sinks into the water, so that the bubbles are up to his chin.  
"Okay, I'll leave you to yourself for a little bit," Dave says once Karkat's settled in the bath with his eyes falling closed.  
"No!" Karkat snaps, eyes instantly flying open again, "I mean... please don't leave me. I'm - I'm scared it'll happen again." It's the most words Dave's heard him say in a while, and the urgency in his tone of voice is enough to make Dave stop in his tracks.  
"Okay, okay, I'm not going anywhere," he says softly, and sits down with his back to Karkat so he can lean backwards against the bathtub.  
"Thanks," Karkat says quietly, "I'm sorry, I feel stupid."  
"Gonna tell you to sshhh now," Dave replies just as quietly, "It's not stupid to be upset."  
"Huh," Karkat mutters quietly, and then there's silence. When Dave peers around, Karkat's closed his eyes again, leaning his head back against the tiled wall behind him and looking significantly calmer than before. Dave takes that as a good sign, and allows himself to relax too. He's surprised a few moments later when he feels Karkat start to run his fingers through his hair, but just smiles and leans his head back further so Karkat can reach better. Warm water runs down Karkat's arm and onto the side of Dave's face, but he ignores it.

After half an hour or so, Karkat sits up in the bath, and runs a hand through his damp hair a few times. He's been moving around a lot for the last few minutes, and Dave's pretty sure the water must be getting cold.  
"You done?" Dave asks, seeing that Karkat's getting restless.  
"Yeah," Karkat replies. As he starts to get out of the bath, Dave grabs a towel, and wraps it around him once he steps out onto the floor. Then he leads Karkat back to the bedroom, and digs through their drawers of clothes until be finds a pair of Karkat's loose pyjama trousers and throws them towards him. Then he gives him a massively oversized red hoodie that the two of them share so much that they don't even remember who originally owned it anymore, and Karkat pulls it on eagerly.  
"Come here," Dave says, gesturing for Karkat to come over to him, and then sits him down on the bed, and seats himself behind him to start brushing out Karkat's tangled hair. Karkat leans backwards against Dave's chest after a while, and Dave smiles softly, continuing to brush out the last few tangles. Once he's done that, he sets the hairbrush aside, and pulls Karkat into his lap, before leaning back against their pillows. Karkat closes his eyes, and reaches out to hold onto one of Dave's hands tightly.

"So," Dave says after a while, "You wanna talk about it? I know it's hard to do, but it's good for you to not keep it all bottled up."  
"I know," Karkat sighs. He leans his head back against Dave's chest, and is quiet for a while. "I found some of Gamzee's old shit in one of the old boxes of stuff left over from the game," he says after a while, "Then I guess things sort of spiralled. But that happens to me all the time, I don't understand why it was so bad this time. I really don't understand." His voice gets louder as he talks, and Dave's quick to calm him down.  
"Sssh sssh," Dave murmurs quietly, rubbing his hands up and down Karkat's arms gently. "It's okay," he says, "Things are hard sometimes, I know. You're allowed to be upset after everything you went through."  
"But I could... I could hear him, I could hear Gamzee's honking, and I could feel his breath on my face and..." Karkat trails off with a few choked sobs.  
"It's okay," Dave says, cuddling him close, "It was just a flashback. He's not here and he's not gonna hurt you."  
"I wasn't even worried about me that much," Karkat mumbles, "Was worried 'bout you. I keep thinking about how if I fuck up, you're gonna get hurt, and I never want that to happen."  
"It's not gonna happen," Dave says softly, "Nothing's going to hurt either of us. We're safe now, and we're together, and nothing's going to put an end to that."  
"You're sure?" Karkat asks.  
"I am," Dave says, "You gotta promise to start telling me when you're upset, okay?"  
"I promise," Karkat says, and his voice actually has a hint of confidence to it.  
"Good," Dave says, "Now I'm going to go and order pizza, you're going to gather every pillow and blanket you can find and take them downstairs, and then we're gonna have a feelings jam and a cuddle, alright?"  
Karkat sits up, and twists around awkwardly so he can look up at Dave. Dave's happy to see him smiling slightly. "Yeah, okay, let's do that," he says.  
And so the two of them get up off of the bed, leave the bedroom and while Dave rings up their local pizza place, Karkat starts to build a pile in the middle of their living room like he's done so many times before.

By the time the pizza arrives half an hour later, Karkat's burrowed in the pile of blankets and pillows. Dave puts the pizza down onto the floor, and then climbs through the pile to sit down by Karkat's side. The troll leans his head over to rest his chin on Dave's shoulder, and hums softly.  
"You okay?" Dave asks, opening up the pizza box.  
"Yeah," Karkat mumbles into his shoulder, and then reaches over to take a slice of pizza. There's silence for a while as they eat, and then Karkat rolls over to wrap his arms around Dave's waist and lean further against his side. Dave doesn't say anything for a while, just letting Karkat do whatever it is he's doing. When he's done eating his slice of pizza though, he turns slightly to hug Karkat back. They lean back against the pillows behind them, and Dave gently pulls a nearby blanket over the two of them.  
"Oh shit, I never told Kanaya that you were okay," Dave says after a few moments of them laying there.  
"Kanaya?" Karkat mumbles.  
"Oh, yeah, don't worry about it," Dave says, pressing a kiss to the top of Karkat's head before he rolls away to grab his phone. He quickly sends a text to Kanaya, thanking her for her help and telling her that Karkat's fine. Then he rolls back over to hug Karkat again.  
"Thanks for everything," Karkat says, voice muffled by Dave's shirt, "I don't know what I'd do without you."  
"Well, you don't have to find that out," Dave tells him, "Because I'm never gonna not be there for you." He leans in to kiss Karkat, before pulling him back closer to him again, and the two curl up together silently amongst the blankets. After about ten minutes, Karkat starts to fall asleep, and Dave lets himself relax when he sees that Karkat seems to be okay. Within a few minutes, both of them are asleep, and they both sleep peacefully all the way through until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this completely out of character? Yes  
Is it still good? I hope so
> 
> I love writing troll biology headcanons slightly too much. And the playlist of music I listened to whilst writing this was the perfect mix of sad and sweet, and that's really what's to blame for this getting so angsty but also super fluffy


End file.
